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Posts Tagged ‘sustainability’

Day 21: Quitting (30th Birthday Countdown)

Written by Jennifer on 8th March 2010

As a countdown to my 30th birthday on March 18, I’ve committed to offering 30 people, things and experiences I want to celebrate from the last 30 years. Grab a piece of cake and enjoy reading!

I’m a quitter. Over the last 30 years, I’ve quit a lot of things – races, jobs, friendships, foods, styles, boyfriends, plans, books, family members, businesses, teams.

Rarely, in all the times that I can remember, have I actually followed through with a decision to quit something and later come to regret it. I understand that this runs counter to traditional axioms about quitting. After all, outside of smoking, quitting = failure, no?

No.

That’s because I’m not talking about the quit-because-I’m-terrified or quit-because-I-might-succeed or quit-because-I-might-fail or quit-because-I’m-afraid-of-conflict scenario. That’s something else entirely. I’m talking about the times I’ve (responsibly) quit because it authentically reflects who I am. In these situations, quitting has proven to be a necessary way of staying true to myself, following through with my passions and interests, protecting me from toxic people and situations, making myself available for bigger and better experiences.

At the end of the day, this kind of quitting has brought me to life.

(A 1995 look I quit.)

So today I celebrate all the times I said yes. And then said no. All the times I moved forward because I thought it was something I wanted and then allowed myself to move away when I realized it wasn’t. I’ve given myself a lot of practice these first thirty years and I imagine I’ll have to do less quitting over the next thirty as a result. On the other hand, if at first I get something all wrong, at least I’ll be able to draw on all of this experience I have and just up and -

Tags: career, celebration, change, sustainability
Posted in career, celebration, change, sustainability | No Comments »

What? Say no to making New Year’s resolutions?!?

Written by Jennifer on 6th January 2010

You get about 75 million hits when searching google with keywords New + Year’s + Resolution. Everywhere I turn, it seems someone else is offering me THE top 5 tips for having my best year ever!!!

You’ve seen this, too, I’m sure and I’m curious: has it proven helpful to you? No? Yes? No matter. Let me add my voice to the cacophonous mess.

I was at the gym last night and overwhelmed at the staggering difference between the average number of people working out on any given night last month as compared to the zoo that was last night.

My husband commented that this was kinda cool. Health and fitness are good things to acheive and he wanted to celebrate the effort of those new to these goals. I rolled my eyes (how coach-like of me!) and said, “I know I can tend a little cynical, but how many of these folks do you think will be here in six months?”

Because I work with people on change all the time, I know how absolutely challenging it can be to sustain, especially without support. And for many people, New Year’s Resolutions are empty promises to themselves, often borne out of what they think they should do, not borne out of who they really are and what they really want. They often don’t even solve any existing problems which, quite frankly, is a real shot in motivation’s foot.

So if you’re among the masses who have identified any resolutions/goals/intentions for 2010 (I have), let me offer two bits of advice:

1. Ensure that it actually solves a real problem that you have (e.g., I will perform my physical therapy exercises three times a week because the pain caused by my poor posture is impeding my ability to function well)

2. Don’t commit to it if you don’t really want to

David Allen said, “Most of the stress that people feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not keeping agreements they’ve made with themselves.”

It’s counterintuitive to all the New Year’s hype, perhaps, but I seriously urge you to let go of making any agreements with yourself that you don’t anticipate keeping. I want you to have a very successful, meaningful and prosperous year. If that means letting some resolutions go, then by all means, take this coach’s suggestion and do just that!

Tags: change, goals, holidays, sustainability
Posted in authenticity, change, commitment, goals, happiness, holidays, inspiration, problem-solving, sustainability | 4 Comments »

The Slow Path of Consciousness

Written by Jennifer on 16th October 2009

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

by Portia Nelson

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost … I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place
but, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street.

Tags: change, inspiration, sustainability
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On Being Happy

Written by Jennifer on 26th May 2009

Did you know that happiness is all the rage?

According to this article by Carlin Flora in Psychology Today, 4,000 books were published on just that topic last year. To compare, just 50 were released in 2000. Unfortunately this hasn’t actually left us any happier. Flora writes:

We Americans tend to grab superficial quick fixes such as extravagant purchases and fatty foods to subdue any negative feelings that overcome us. . . Indeed, a body of research shows instant indulgences do calm us down—for a few moments. But they leave us poorer, physically unhealthy, and generally more miserable in the long run.

The article goes on to deepen the conversation around happiness – what it is and what the research says will help you get it. Of particular interest is the assertion that “getting what you want doesn’t bring lasting happiness.” Because humans are so adaptable, we immediately want something more when we reach a goal, win a prize, purchase a new item.

We begin coveting another worldly possession or eyeing a social advancement. But such an approach keeps us tethered to the “hedonic treadmill,” where happiness is always just out of reach, one toy or one notch away. It’s possible to get off the treadmill entirely . . . by focusing on activities that are dynamic, surprising, and attention-absorbing, and thus less likely to bore us than, say, acquiring shiny stuff.

In short, it’s about sustainability. Which brings me to this question: How are you getting off the treadmill?

Tags: fear, happiness, sustainability
Posted in fear, happiness, inspiration | 1 Comment »

The Siren Song of To-Dos

Written by Jennifer on 24th March 2009

There’s always something more you need to be doing.

Whether it’s buying, plucking, watching, fixing or changing, this message seems to be everywhere. It’s in advertising – to be expected – and it’s also in religion and self-help and work. “To-dos” serve as an undercurrent of our cultural creed, a result of our evolutionary drive, perhaps. We knowwe/life/work/our future can be better and so we create a plan to make it happen.

I’m a life coach. I get paid, in part, because people believe this message. They believe there’s always something more to be doing. And so do I. Sometimes.

And sometimes I think it’s a load of crap. Life isn’t about constantly evolving into something else. Life is about becoming more authentic, more basic. It’s often about devolving.

Of course, the items on our to-do lists sometimes help us do that. More often, they don’t. They lead us down a path of over-consumption, greed, busyness and stress. In short, they make life less sustainable.

This blog will be about many things, I am sure. I am also sure I will be circling around this theme of sustainability. What is a sustainable life? How does it get created? What gets in the way?

I look forward to hearing your thoughts. Until then (and in the spirit of guest blogging), I offer a quote by Thich Nhat Hanh from his book The Art of Power:

“Look at a tree in the front yard: the tree doesn’t seem to do anything. It just stands there, vigorous, fresh and beautiful, and everyone benefits from it. This is the miracle of being. If a tree is less than a tree, all of us will be in trouble. If a tree can be a real tree, there is hope, there is joy.”

Tags: life coaching, sustainability
Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments »