Posts Tagged ‘communication’

Day 16: Robyn aka Rubby (30th Birthday Countdown)

Written by Jennifer on 3rd March 2010

As a countdown to my 30th birthday on March 18, I’ve committed to offering 30 people, things and experiences I want to celebrate from the last 30 years. Grab a piece of cake and enjoy reading!

This post is actually a celebration of ALL my college roommates: Stacy, Varonica, Ingrid, Sarah and Robyn. (And you, too, Jake, because you were like a half roommate.) Without them, I would still be a royal pain in the ass to live with.

Robyn was my first chosen roommate in college. We got an apartment together our sophomore year and promptly set up house, by which I mean we repainted yard sale furniture and slid the ski ball machine against the south-facing wall. While we ditched the arcade games after year one, we continued to live together through the first half of my senior year, at which point the Rubsters graduated early.

(Robyn and Me, 1999)

To have spent time with Robyn and me in college would have been to overindulge in homemade salsa, laugh more than a little too loudly and address questions about the meaning of life and art.

But this longstanding friendship that so closely bore witness to the evolution from adolescent to adult might best be glimpsed in a recent facebook exchange. I posted a photo to which Robyn commented that it reminded her of one of our apartments.

I responded, “Yeah, but I’m nicer now.”

She followed up with, “Well, I say what I mean now.”

I am not sure who I would be without my college roommates. I am certainly not sure who I would be without Robyn for she is one of the most significant people in my life from the last 10 years.

And so I celebrate that we were thrown into the same freshman orientation group. And that she has forgiven me for behaving like a 19 year old when I was 19 years old. And that I can pick up the phone or train to NY and be certain I will have the opportunity to laugh late into the night.

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Posted in celebration, change, communication | 3 Comments »

Day 10: Hindsight (30th Birthday Countdown)

Written by Jennifer on 25th February 2010

As a countdown to my 30th birthday on March 18, I’ve committed to offering 30 people, things and experiences I want to celebrate from the last 30 years. Grab a piece of cake and enjoy reading!

Like most formal education, mine required knowledge of a multitude of useless facts. This showed up most significantly in history classes, in which we’d often memorize dates and names, as opposed to wrestle with motivation, ethics or patterns. To some degree, the way history was (and must still be) taught sucked the life out of me. I knew there were stories that needed to be told, ideas that needed to be explored and events that needed new eyes. I just could never see how the memorization of facts added value to my life or the contribution I might make to the world.

And so I made this known.

The movie Amistad had recently been released and after seeing it I decided – in my infinite teenaged wisdom – that my fellow students and I should be learning history in these kinds of ways. In ways that made it real, made it stick. That got at the issues.

So a good friend and I went to the school board president to plead this very case. Nada. And if I’d had a hair’s less passion I might have stopped there. Instead, I took it upon myself to draft a letter to THE ENTIRE FACULTY asserting my perspective and placing it in each teacher’s mailbox.

I might not cringe today at my assuredly bold move had I not come across this letter a few years ago at my dad’s house. I remembered this event rather positively and indeed, underneath the hyperbole existed some very valuable points. But what I wrote was patronizing. Condescending. It was painful to read.

So today I’m celebrating the hindsight that allows us to see our former selves in new ways – whether it be with pride or humiliation. And the fact that maturity breeds choice, as in “I can now generally state my opinion without degrading other people, departments or institutions.” I don’t believe hindsight is 20/20, but I believe it’s enough that we get the chance to see ourselves anew.

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Posted in celebration, change, communication, story | No Comments »

Communication 101

Written by Jennifer on 18th September 2009

I often co-present with my colleague, Maria van Hekken, on how organizations can leverage generational diversity as an asset. If you’re not up to speed on the generational stuff, suffice it to say that individuals and organizations are having a hard time dealing with the relatively new phenomenon of four generations of adults in the workplace. We help people address this through our joint venture, GenEdge.

Maria and I have a unique standpoint: multiple generations is a good thing. Additionally, the biggest piece of the “generation gap” sits in our own sterotypes, prejudices and assumptions. Once we help our audience flesh that out, we share with them our Top 5 Strategies for Leveraging Generation Capital. Interested? Check out our super cool, very funny audio thingamajig here.

I digress.

At the end of a recent presentation, one fellow commented that our material could really be applied to anything. He said, “It’s communication 101.” Maria’s immediate response was right on target: “We couldn’t agree with you more.”

It was never clear to me whether the comment was meant as an insult. But here’s the deal: it doesn’t matter. The conversation we had with the group was powerful. Powerful enough that a woman come up to us afterwards, sharing how a lightbulb went off for her, enabling her to see an entirely new way of addressing some intergenerational issues she as facing.

Communication 101 is what most of us need. We forget to lay aside our prejudice and stereotypes. We resist the idea that collaboration is better than jockeying for power. We never get around to asking open-ended questions and then shutting up to let someone fully answer. We stop speaking respectfully.

Communicating effectively is no easy endeavor. Whether it’s between friends, lovers, colleagues, races, genders or generations, we’re always swimming in a sea of noise. The good news is there are some presentations out there that remind us of some new ways to do this. The good news is we can always go back to basics.

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Posted in communication | 3 Comments »

I am the Medium and the Message

Written by Jennifer on 25th June 2009

All right, so I’m not Marshall McCluhan. If I was, the title would be this.

A close relative recently asked how I felt about being so “out there” in terms of social media; in particular, how does it feel to be exposing myself so much via this blog. After all, you can be drastically different things to different people if you manage to keep them separated.

Like most people, I have experience with this. My circles are wide and varied and everyone gets a slightly different flavor of Jen, Jennifer, Aunt Jenny or Ms. Gleeson Blue. That’s part of what it means to be a social creature. Unfortunately, a “different flavor” can also lead to a problematic disintegration of authenticity.

A typical example: I was recently talking with a client about how hard she finds it to integrate her different personas. In other words, if her work people showed up at a family party, they wouldn’t recognize her as the same person. And vice versa.

That’s when it clicked for me.

Social media has invited me to publicly stand for who I am and what I’m about. The medium (blogging, in this case) has sharpened the message (it’s coming). Clarified it. Liberated it, too.

And it asks me to show up consistently all over my life. Paradoxically, it seems, this experience of anonymity that comes with sitting at a keyboard has actually enabled me to be more authentic and integrated all across the board (that’s the message!). I bring more of ME wherever I go, be it a family barbeque, a client session, a Board meeting, a night out with friends.

So if you are the medium, what’s your message?

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Posted in authenticity, communication, integrity | 4 Comments »

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