Archive for the ‘purpose’ Category

The Joy Equation: An Interview

Written by Jennifer on 18th May 2010

I know a lot of amazing, inspiring people. People who live openly, honestly and with passion. People who are making a significant contribution to the world.

In this post, I’m sharing with you a recent interview with one such person – a Ms. Molly Hoyne – who happens to run a super cool organization in Seattle called Stratejoy. If I lived there, I’d do my best to spend a lot of time with Molly, where we’d undoubtedly drink margaritas and talk about the crazy gift it is to be helping others live life on their own terms.  I’m choosing to share Molly with you here for two reasons:

  1. She’s bound to inspire you. Seriously.
  2. She’s offering something amazing right now.

This offering is called The Joy Equation: A 30 Day Guide to Living Life on Purpose. Especially if you’re experiencing a quarterlife crisis and you’re a woman, I think you might be interested in hopping on over to this page for some more info.

For now, let’s get on with the interview. Friends, meet Molly. Molly, meet Friends.

Jennifer: First of all, could you share a bit about yourself?

Molly: I’m Molly. I live in Seattle. I love to travel and take baths and wear costumes and and partake in naked adventures and have wicked smart conversations about the meaning of life/business/saving the world. I’m getting married in August even though I refuse to plan my wedding. I’m taking off in an RV for a year in September. Here’s my life list.   Here’s a 7 minute video of my story. Here’s my business.  That is all.

JGB: Your new guide, The Joy Equation, is all about living life on purpose. Can you say a little bit more about what that means?

MH: Living on purpose means making deliberate choices about our personal resources – our time, money, energy and love. I think it’s fairly easy to get stuck living on autopilot, doing something today just because we did it yesterday.  Sometimes autopilot is useful- it helps take the guesswork out of making every little decision. Wake up = brush teeth.  Or drink coffee in my case!  But living a life? I think we need to stop and take stock on a fairly regular basis.  What am I doing with my time?  My money?  Why? Am I loving it?  Suffering it?  Am I making conscious choices or just taking the easy road?

JGB: So is there an actual equation for joy?

MH: There is in fact!  I’m sure there are bunches of personal “equations for joy” but I operate with this one: Connect with Yourself  +  Define Success + Cultivate Powerful Habits + Commit to Your Happiness  = Authentic Joy.

Connecting with Yourself is really about clarity around your values and all the little things that make you feel alive.  Defining success comes down to declaring your own version of “making it” or what it’s going to take to rock your world. Cultivating Powerful Habits is the goal setting portion of the equation! We can dream and envision and set intentions all we like, but there is execution that needs to happen as well. And finally, Committing to Your Happiness means recognizing the importance of your own fulfillment and self-realization. We need to create and commit to our own happiness in order to be fully alive and present for everyone else in our life.

JGB: I know that this course evolved out of your own experience conquering your quarterlife crisis (QLC). What do you think brought you to the point of crisis?

MH: I think I ignored the little niggling feeling that “something feels off” for quite awhile before it hit “crisis” mode! After all, I was doing what I had studied in college, getting the proper promotions, kicking butt, making my bonuses…  But when I was really honest with myself, I recognized that I wasn’t fulfilled whatsoever and I had no idea what do to about it. I felt stuck. I was totally self-medicating with wine and constantly bitching about my job without doing anything about it. I was turning into someone I didn’t recognize!

I think I hit crisis when I realized that I was the only one who could change the direction of my life, but I felt totally clueless on how to start.  What direction did I even want to go?  How was I going to “start over”?  What if I failed?    

JGB: And now? How would you describe your life now?

MH: Busy!  And so full of the right things that I frequently find myself telling people I love my life. Which is ridiculously corny, but totally true. It’s been four years since I hit the worst of my QLC and in that time I quit the corporate world, spent 10 months backpacking around the world with my boyfriend, started Stratejoy, cultivated a meditation practice, got engaged, and dove headfirst into coaching/teaching/speaking about success on your own terms.

My life is a lovely reflection of my authentic self.  It’s a mishmash of ALL my interests. This year alone I will have performed in a burlesque show, attended a 7-day silent meditation retreat, bought a cabin in the woods on a river, partied in Vegas with a bunch of 20-something bloggers, taught workshops on both coasts, and made out with James Franco. (If anyone knows James, can you pretty please help me arrange that last bit?  Thanks.)

JGB: And now that you’ve discovered so many wonderful things about yourself and about life, if you could stand on a rooftop shouting one message, what would it be?

MH: This is Life!  Jump in!  Make it Count!

JGB: Thanks, Molly! I couldn’t agree more!

Don’t forget to find your way to Stratejoy’s website and check out Molly’s pay-what-you-can promotion on her guide, The Joy Equation.

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First Things First

Written by Jennifer on 4th May 2010

I’m often thinking about priorities. In part, I am paid to do as much. I help my clients sort through their own priorities in order to design actions that support those priorities. I do the same for myself, too, of course.

Prioritization has been a particularly hot topic of late. Many of my clients have been asking for a specific emphasis on it; last week, I guest blogged on why/how you can stop trying to manage time; and this morning I had a brief conversation with a colleague by the name of Julie Cohen who was telling me her number one key to creating work-life balance is to develop priorities.

My work with clients, my own blogging and Julie’s comments have reminded me of  how important it is to not only identify what matters most to us but actually construct our lives to reflect those priorities. Or, as Steven Covey would say, we need to put first things first.

The way you choose to spend your time is a reflection of what matters most in your life. If someone were to look at how the hours in your day are allocated, would they see who you really are? Would they see where your priorities lie? And if not, why not?

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Barking up the Wrong Tree

Written by Jennifer on 1st December 2009

I was scheduled to be giving a very significant presentation at the ICF Annual Conference Global Leadership Forum tomorrow.  The largest and most influential association for coaches, the International Coach Federation accredits coach training institutions and certifies coaches. I am a member, I currently serve on the executive board of its Philadelphia chapter and I also lead a small interest group on their behalf for 20- and 30-something coaches.

Back in June, I accepted the invitation to speak at this significant gathering of many of the head honchos in my profession. It’s a good gig. Noteworthy. Impressive, even. Validating.

As time went on and more details were solidified, I came to several realizations, the most important of which was that delivering this presentation wasn’t purposeful for me. Sparing the details, I began to see how this presentation would equivocate barking up the wrong tree.  I made the hard decision to renig on this sweet deal (read: ego likes noteworthy, impressive, validating activities).

Wrong Way, Go Back

Many of my clients come to me barking up the wrong tree. Sometimes they know it and want help finding the right tree. Other times they insist the wrong tree is the right tree. If you think you might be barking up the wrong tree, spend time with the following:

  1. When I imagine following through on this, I feel ________.
  2. When I imagine letting go of this, I feel _______.
  3. The cost of letting go of this is _______.
  4. The benefit of letting go of this is _______.
  5. This is/isn’t purposeful for me because _______.

The process of exploring this speaking opportunity got me in touch with some ideas and dreams I had set aside. It awakened me to more purposeful activity that is already proving generative and exciting. And while saying no may cost me some leverage and recognition within the coaching community, I am certain the cost of following through would have been higher.

Most of us take some inventory of the past year in December and begin envisioning the next one. As you do so, I invite you to consider that any changes you want to make must be purposeful in order to be truly sustainable. Are you ready to begin barking up the right trees?

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