I awoke today to find that the dishes had been done, a love letter was waiting for me and my husband was offering me a smiling face and a warm hug.

Nothing terribly unusual there.

Except that today is our 7th wedding anniversary.

Part of the anniversary ritual in our relationship involves my expression of astonishment: Can you BELIEVE we made it another year?!?!

Scott rolls his eyes and says yes, yes he can believe that we’ve “lasted” this long, he fully anticipated it and would I kindly have a little faith.

But here’s the deal: Scott always wanted to be married and imagined himself married. It seemed a pipe dream to me. You can read about some of my commitment issues here. And you can also know that as of this year or next I will have officially been married longer than my parents.

There’s something more, however, that I’m finally beginning to understand. My yearly exclamation is not just about disbelief or family history or fear of commitment. It’s also about putting lifelong commitment in its place, which is to say that a generative marriage is among the most difficult, challenging and awe-inspiring feats two people can create together. Not only does a marriage that really works for both partners require love, shared values, hard work and a whole lot of room to make mistakes; it also takes being in the right place at the right time. It requires luck.

Said another way, exclaiming my surprise at another year of marriage is a simple act of humility.

I can’t wait to celebrate these last seven years with Scott. I am so proud of them, of my choice to marry him, of the choice I have made every day since then. I look forward to celebrating year eight, too, and years 12 and 19 and 45. That’s what having faith means, isn’t it?

Just like today, however, I know I’ll be amazed. Surprised, even. Nearly in disbelief.