Author Archive

Blurring the Sacred and Secular

Humans seem to love categories. We evaluate, assess and assign people and things to different, appropriate categories. We especially do this when it comes to all things that fall into the sacred/secular camps:

  • This for my spirit; that for my body
  • This for God; that for humankind
  • This for the Church; that for the world
  • This for the Eternal; that for the temporal

We even capitalize the really important categories.

This tendency of humans to divvy up the sacred and secular made my experience at a dear friend’s wedding this weekend particularly meaningful. At first glance, the traditional categories were in play. They had a religious ceremony, held in a church, complete with a Reverend. Yes, the religious ceremony included no proselytizing. Yes, the church is liberal, LGBT-friendly and active in social justice issues. Yes, the Reverend is a woman. But I stopped slicing and dicing along all of those particular lines so long ago that, by my account, the ceremony fell into the traditional, sacred category.

(The rehearsal; (c) Scott Gleeson Blue)

Which begs the question: what, then, blurred the sacred and the secular?

It was the reception that did it.

Instead of moving the party to another location – or another part of the church building even – the chairs used for the ceremony were moved to tables to the immediate left and right, leaving a dance floor in the middle. Together, we ate and drank and danced and laughed where moments before there had been prayer and communion and marriage vows.

(Dancing at the wedding; (c) Emre Edev)

Most people I know are longing for a richer experience of life. Are seeking out people and experiences that bring them a taste of their own powerful, creative existence (and that of the eternal). In this way, categorization along sacred and secular lines seems to get in the way. It cuts us off from the holy experience of daily living or the spiritually nurturing nature of watching someone do the robot in the middle of a circle of tipsy wedding guests.

To be fully alive, I have discovered that I need to allow that what is for my body is also for my spirit; what is for my fellow humans is also for God; what is for the world, is also for the Church; and what is for the temporal is also for the Eternal.  The line between the sacred and the secular must get muddy and blur such that dancing to James Brown’s Try Me and eating roast pork also became holy acts.

Ditchin’ La Vida Loca*: An Interview

I’ve done enough yoga to know that there’s no such thing as balance. At least not in any permanent, rigid way. Balance is a constant wavering, a series of movements that take you backward and forward, left and right. Not falling down is balance. But when it comes to having a healthy blend of our professional and personal lives, most people I know feel like they’re missing some elusive golden key. Most of us keep falling down.

So I turned to a fellow coach and author of the book, Your Work, Your Life…Your Way: 7 Keys to Work-Life Balance, to provide us all with some insight into this elusive thing called work-life balance. Julie Cohen rocked this audio interview and you’re bound to find multiple valuable take-aways for your own life. Check it:

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If you’re interested in Julie’s book, you can find it at her website or on Amazon. You can also check her out on facebook. And like most people who are gaga for what they do, she’d love to have you contact her with any questions or thoughts at julie@7keystoworklifebalance.com!

* For those of you who don’t speak Spanish (or speak Ricky Martin), “la vida loca” means “the crazy life.”

Our Bodies, Our Obsession

I used to think poor body image was an issue unto itself. I’ve since come to realize that poor body image and the obsession around it has a far reach, preventing women, in particular, from being powerful forces in the world. In other words, when we are spending time obsessing over our bodies and how (ugly) they are, we are not spending time and energy, and money, and intelligence on other things. Like developing a spiritual practice or ending global warming.

This is a problem.

In an effort to address this problem, I’ve crafted a workshop – and now a FREE teleseminar so you can call from anywhere – on this very topic. It’s happening on Thursday, June 3 at 8pm ET and, if you’re a woman, I would really love to have you participate. Really.

Register for Our Bodies, Our Obsession - A Teleseminar in Wherever you and your phone happen to be!  on Eventbrite

In the meantime, take a look at this video from Dove’s Campaign for Real Beauty and think about the standard to which you’re holding yourself.

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The Joy Equation: An Interview

I know a lot of amazing, inspiring people. People who live openly, honestly and with passion. People who are making a significant contribution to the world.

In this post, I’m sharing with you a recent interview with one such person – a Ms. Molly Hoyne – who happens to run a super cool organization in Seattle called Stratejoy. If I lived there, I’d do my best to spend a lot of time with Molly, where we’d undoubtedly drink margaritas and talk about the crazy gift it is to be helping others live life on their own terms.  I’m choosing to share Molly with you here for two reasons:

  1. She’s bound to inspire you. Seriously.
  2. She’s offering something amazing right now.

This offering is called The Joy Equation: A 30 Day Guide to Living Life on Purpose. Especially if you’re experiencing a quarterlife crisis and you’re a woman, I think you might be interested in hopping on over to this page for some more info.

For now, let’s get on with the interview. Friends, meet Molly. Molly, meet Friends.

Jennifer: First of all, could you share a bit about yourself?

Molly: I’m Molly. I live in Seattle. I love to travel and take baths and wear costumes and and partake in naked adventures and have wicked smart conversations about the meaning of life/business/saving the world. I’m getting married in August even though I refuse to plan my wedding. I’m taking off in an RV for a year in September. Here’s my life list.   Here’s a 7 minute video of my story. Here’s my business.  That is all.

JGB: Your new guide, The Joy Equation, is all about living life on purpose. Can you say a little bit more about what that means?

MH: Living on purpose means making deliberate choices about our personal resources – our time, money, energy and love. I think it’s fairly easy to get stuck living on autopilot, doing something today just because we did it yesterday.  Sometimes autopilot is useful- it helps take the guesswork out of making every little decision. Wake up = brush teeth.  Or drink coffee in my case!  But living a life? I think we need to stop and take stock on a fairly regular basis.  What am I doing with my time?  My money?  Why? Am I loving it?  Suffering it?  Am I making conscious choices or just taking the easy road?

JGB: So is there an actual equation for joy?

MH: There is in fact!  I’m sure there are bunches of personal “equations for joy” but I operate with this one: Connect with Yourself  +  Define Success + Cultivate Powerful Habits + Commit to Your Happiness  = Authentic Joy.

Connecting with Yourself is really about clarity around your values and all the little things that make you feel alive.  Defining success comes down to declaring your own version of “making it” or what it’s going to take to rock your world. Cultivating Powerful Habits is the goal setting portion of the equation! We can dream and envision and set intentions all we like, but there is execution that needs to happen as well. And finally, Committing to Your Happiness means recognizing the importance of your own fulfillment and self-realization. We need to create and commit to our own happiness in order to be fully alive and present for everyone else in our life.

JGB: I know that this course evolved out of your own experience conquering your quarterlife crisis (QLC). What do you think brought you to the point of crisis?

MH: I think I ignored the little niggling feeling that “something feels off” for quite awhile before it hit “crisis” mode! After all, I was doing what I had studied in college, getting the proper promotions, kicking butt, making my bonuses…  But when I was really honest with myself, I recognized that I wasn’t fulfilled whatsoever and I had no idea what do to about it. I felt stuck. I was totally self-medicating with wine and constantly bitching about my job without doing anything about it. I was turning into someone I didn’t recognize!

I think I hit crisis when I realized that I was the only one who could change the direction of my life, but I felt totally clueless on how to start.  What direction did I even want to go?  How was I going to “start over”?  What if I failed?    

JGB: And now? How would you describe your life now?

MH: Busy!  And so full of the right things that I frequently find myself telling people I love my life. Which is ridiculously corny, but totally true. It’s been four years since I hit the worst of my QLC and in that time I quit the corporate world, spent 10 months backpacking around the world with my boyfriend, started Stratejoy, cultivated a meditation practice, got engaged, and dove headfirst into coaching/teaching/speaking about success on your own terms.

My life is a lovely reflection of my authentic self.  It’s a mishmash of ALL my interests. This year alone I will have performed in a burlesque show, attended a 7-day silent meditation retreat, bought a cabin in the woods on a river, partied in Vegas with a bunch of 20-something bloggers, taught workshops on both coasts, and made out with James Franco. (If anyone knows James, can you pretty please help me arrange that last bit?  Thanks.)

JGB: And now that you’ve discovered so many wonderful things about yourself and about life, if you could stand on a rooftop shouting one message, what would it be?

MH: This is Life!  Jump in!  Make it Count!

JGB: Thanks, Molly! I couldn’t agree more!

Don’t forget to find your way to Stratejoy’s website and check out Molly’s pay-what-you-can promotion on her guide, The Joy Equation.

Training v. Working Out

I’ve been quizzing lots of people on what motivates them to do what it is that’s most important to them. How do they keep moving forward when they’re tired, afraid of failure or success, have laundry to do or people to stalk on facebook?

One of the most common themes is tied to goals and it just so happens that my friend Olivia, who is blogging about her experiences as she travels the world, wrote her latest post on staying motivated to be physically fit. She has this to say:

I need goals. I need to know what I’ve accomplished so I can either stop contentedly or push on for more. If I’m training for something, I can’t miss a workout; it would screw up my entire training schedule, which would drive me nuts.

Maybe it’s our culture’s lack of emphasis on self-discipline or over-emphasis on instant gratification; regardless, I don’t know too many people who find it easy to establish habits simply because it’s good for them. We do better with goals. (Note to self: find some kind of goal that can be tied to vacuuming.) Olivia will no doubt enjoy working out and discover that exercise is an end in and of itself (like vacuuming, right?). However, as she admits, without a training-related goal the chances of jump starting a fitness regiment decline significantly (hence my personal lack of vacuuming).

It doesn’t really matter what motivates you. But if you prefer to train rather than work out, set a goal. It may do just the trick!

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