Archive for January, 2010

Irish Melancholy v. Gratitude

Awake in the morning feeling down and tending toward monkey mind? In my family, we call it Irish melancholy (although my non-Irish heritage friends swear it’s broader than that).

And so this morning, I awoke feeling agitated. I knew it could be a case of the Irish melancholies. Or something deeper.

Regardless, I was in no mood to figure out the “why” of this agitation. I do a lot of internal processing and today I just wanted to feel better. Leave the processing for another time. If it’s something deeper, it’ll surely find a way to get my attention again in no time.

My brain began turning. Would yoga do the trick? Yes, but I’m not really in the mood. A walk? Yes, but it’s cold and snowy and I’m really digging the warmth of my bathrobe.  Gratitude? Yes, and this would be easy!

Since I tend to run a wee bit late when it comes to thank-you cards, I thought, “Hey, if I write my Christmas thank-yous right now, I bet I’ll feel like a million bucks.” Why put off until February what can make me feel better today, right?

And I was correct. Writing a few thank-yous did the trick. By taking a few minutes to share my gratitude for the thoughtfulness and generosity of others, I settled into my day, sans agitation.

Expressing gratitude is absolutely a gift to others. And it’s important for that reason. It’s an even bigger gift to ourselves. Somehow this focus on what is good in life or on what we appreciate about another person creates a mystical shift inside and makes our world a little bigger and our experience of it a lot safer. And today, it made me happier. Take that, Irish melancholy!

What? Say no to making New Year’s resolutions?!?

You get about 75 million hits when searching google with keywords New + Year’s + Resolution. Everywhere I turn, it seems someone else is offering me THE top 5 tips for having my best year ever!!!

You’ve seen this, too, I’m sure and I’m curious: has it proven helpful to you? No? Yes? No matter. Let me add my voice to the cacophonous mess.

I was at the gym last night and overwhelmed at the staggering difference between the average number of people working out on any given night last month as compared to the zoo that was last night.

My husband commented that this was kinda cool. Health and fitness are good things to acheive and he wanted to celebrate the effort of those new to these goals. I rolled my eyes (how coach-like of me!) and said, “I know I can tend a little cynical, but how many of these folks do you think will be here in six months?”

Because I work with people on change all the time, I know how absolutely challenging it can be to sustain, especially without support. And for many people, New Year’s Resolutions are empty promises to themselves, often borne out of what they think they should do, not borne out of who they really are and what they really want.  They often don’t even solve any existing problems which, quite frankly, is a real shot in motivation’s foot.

So if you’re among the masses who have identified any resolutions/goals/intentions for 2010 (I have), let me offer two bits of advice:

1. Ensure that it actually solves a real problem that you have (e.g., I will perform my physical therapy exercises three times a week because the pain caused by my poor posture is impeding my ability to function well)

2. Don’t commit to it if you don’t really want to

David Allen said, “Most of the stress that people feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not keeping agreements they’ve made with themselves.”

It’s counterintuitive to all the New Year’s hype, perhaps, but I seriously urge you to let go of making any agreements with yourself that you don’t anticipate keeping. I want you to have a very successful, meaningful and prosperous year. If that means letting some resolutions go, then by all means, take this coach’s suggestion and do just that!

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