Archive for October, 2009

Jesus + New Age = Guilt?

The Bible Story

A very sick woman decided that if she could only touch the hem of Jesus’ man-dress, she would be healed. So she tracks him down, breaks multiple cultural norms and religious laws and touches the hem of his garment. She is immediately healed and Jesus turns to her and says, “Your faith has healed you.” A version of that story can be found here.

The Law of Attraction

According to Wikipedia, “the Law of Attraction says people’s thoughts (both conscious and unconscious) dictate the reality of their lives, whether or not they’re aware of it. Essentially, if you really want something and truly believe it’s possible, you’ll get it.”

The Shadow Side

Both of these ideas resonate with me and I’ve experienced the outworking of them. However, the distillation and combination of these two messages forces a shadow side to emerge that warrants attention. Without a broader context, ideas of faith and belief can easily lead to a path of guilt and self-blame. In other words, if I am not healed, if I do not have what I want, then it must be my fault. I have not had enough faith, I have not believed hard enough. I’ve heard this message of blame come through from traditional religious teachers and New Age gurus alike.

The Application

I’ve recently committed to taking my business to the next level financially. Most of the time, I believe I can do it, I will do it, I am doing it. I’ve decided to embrace, however, the really wise skeptic in me who nods and says, “Yes, but you’ve never done this before” or the little kid who says, “Yes, but I’m afraid to grow up that much!”

More than believing that I’m my own personal genie, I’ve committed to discovering where I’m resistant to my goal and dealing with that so that I can be more open and receptive. I’m also committed to laying the footwork that brings me closer to more financial success in my business. As I say in this post on marriage, I look forward to achieving my goal. I just might not quite believe it until I see it.

I don’t know enough about the Law of Attraction and its history to say whether my approach falls within the bounds of effective mental processes. I do know enough about Jesus’ other teachings to say that I’m pretty sure faith isn’t about perfection of thought or laying on the guilt when things don’t go as envisioned. I’ll keep you posted on how this refined *belief* works out for me.

And you? Where do you fall out with this?

The Slow Path of Consciousness

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

by Portia Nelson

I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost … I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place
but, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V

I walk down another street.

Admit you have a problem (but don’t obsess!)

I was struck this morning by an article in the Philadelphia Inquirer about tinnitus – a “phantom” ringing in the ears that results from no external prompt and that can nearly drive people over the brink. The brain is confused and by what, scientists have yet to discover.

One predominant treatment is called masking therapy, whereby you block out the ringing with another noise (white noise, television) until the brain learns to ignore the ringing.

“The goal is to retrain the brain to ignore the disruptive noise, the same way it stops noticing highway traffic or the neighbor’s barking dog.”

However, some people make no headway with this treatment. Lack of improvement can result from obsession over the ringing or when sufferers  get stonewalled by the limbic system which, among other things, controls our  emotional response. To quote the article’s expert:

“If you hate dogs or hate your neighbor, that barking sound is not going to fade into the background.”

Isn’t that amazing?!? In these cases where tinnitus is idiopathic and no physical medical treatment is available, we can impede recovery by:

  1. Obsessing on the problem
  2. Overlaying “negative” emotions

I’m all for calling a spade a spade. If life sucks, name it. Admitting you have a problem is the first step in most kinds of recovery – be it addiction, hearing loss, unemployment or spiritual emptiness. Apparently, though, there’s a lot to be said for letting go and making peace with the thorns in our sides. Only then might we be able to remove them.

What about you? How have you noticed that an obsession with what’s wrong actually impedes your forward progress?*  Can you identify the direct and tangential emotions involved?

Please post your thoughts below!

I’d like to clarify an important distinction here. Most of us actually obsess over symptoms or get wrapped up in complaint. I would guess that 75% of my clients come to coaching unable to truly identify the problem they are facing – the fundamental root of their struggle or the real reason for any goal that they have set. The problem must be clearly named first in order to ensure successful forward movement. Doing this (sometimes time-heavy) work of identifying the problem is different than obsessing!

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